Stress isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when it’s sustained, it can be debilitating. It affects our ability to regulate our emotions, and our metabolism and overall health. Stress can even cause our brains to shrink—a problem I’m confident no one needs. With 2017 seeing tremendous change already—and there’s surely more to come—stress management has to be a top priority for individuals and organizations alike.
One effective way to deal with stress combines looking at our behavior through two models. First, our interpersonal needs (as described by the Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation or FIRO model) often lie at the root of what tends to get us stressed. Second, our personality type (as described by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator instrument or MBTI) affects how we react to stress. By understanding what gets us stressed, and how we react to it, we can more readily pull ourselves, as well as teammates and co-workers, out of counter-productive stress.
When Our Interpersonal Needs Aren’t Met, We Get Stressed
According to the FIRO model, our behavior is driven by individually varying levels of interpersonal needs in three areas:
- Inclusion
- Control
- Affection
We experience different degrees of need along these three areas in both “expressed” and “wanted” ways. For example, if you have a high expressed need for inclusion, you may want to make sure everyone and anyone is invited to anything and everything. If you have a low “wanted” need for inclusion, you might not care whether or not you’re invited to that meeting or party.
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