When it comes to oral sex, there are a LOT of tips out there. It makes sense TBH—it’s only human nature to want to make a great thing better. Whether you’re going down on a partner or just laying back and receiving, here are some tips that will make sure the both of you are giving as good as you get.
1. Use your breath.
Mare Simone, a certified Tantra educator, says that using your hot breath to stimulate nerve endings is an amazing way to ramp up foreplay before diving in. This works just as well with fellatio as it does with cunnilingus, too. Next time you’re going down on your partner, just take a step back to breathe on their sensitive parts before making contact. The suspense will turn them on in ways you didn’t know were possible.
2. Try some light prostate play.
Without trying internal prostate play via fingering or toys, did you know you can also stimulate a guy’s prostate externally? Cara Kovacs, a NYC-based sex coach, suggests stimulating your guy’s perineum (located between his anus and balls) by gently massaging him while going down on him.
3. Kiss her outside her panties.
When it comes to cunnilingus, Kovacs recommends kissing your partner outside her panties for a while until she’s begging for you. “Women need more time to warm up than men and gentle touching is a great preface,” she explains.
4. Don’t be afraid to be messy and show enthusiasm
Regardless of if you’re performing fellatio or cunnilingus, it’s supes important to show enthusiasm. Think about it. The best technical skill in the world doesn’t matter if the giver seems bored, uninterested, or even worse, turned off while going down on you. Kovacs recommends vocal enthusiasm, eye contact, and smiling to show your partner how much you enjoy pleasing them. It’s also important to be okay with messiness. “Show your partner that you like having their deliciousness all over your face. That nothing about them doesn’t turn you on, and that you delight in their delight.” says Kovacs.
5. Spread her labia.
Along the same lines of not being bashful, Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ Resident Sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ for your partner.
6. Masturbating can help you figure out what you like.
Yes, a tongue is way different than a finger or a toy, but knowing what works for you when you’re solo is at least a good place to start when explaining what you want your partner to do when they’re thigh-deep and ready to go. Do you like constant pressure, or increasing pressure? How about speed and pace?
7. Get your whole body into it.
As recommended via podcast a podcast from the pros at Pleasure Mechanics, try stimulating (or asking for partner to stimulate) your whole body first, starting from your legs and working inward toward your clitoris.
8. Switch things up at the beginning.
As many guys get close to orgasm, they typically just want you to keep doing that one thing you’re doing without stopping ’til they get there. A little boring, but whatever. However, at the beginning to build up anticipation you can try shaking up your routine. Think alternating longer ice-cream style licks with more traditional full-mouth-over-the-peen sucking.